Recap! Season 14 Game 2 – February 3, 2018

Unholy Rollers 173, Quad Squad 150 (Stats)

Bout 2 of the Season 14 home season raised sails as the Pirates of the Coliseum took to the track on Saturday, February 3rd. The first bout of the evening featured the Unholy Rollers and the Quad Squad who were both looking for their first win of the season.  The bout began with the Quad Squad taking a quick 7-0 lead, however the Unholies fired right back. With some strong blocking up front, the Unholy Rollers took lead jammer on each of the next 5 jams while holding the Quad Squad scoreless. Chick Chick Boom finally broke the streak and took lead jammer in the 8th jam.  A penalty ended that advantage, but not after finally breaking the Quad Squad’s scoring drought.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media

Quad Squad struggled to gain any momentum as the Unholy Rollers took lead jammer on 17 of the 23 jams in the first half alone and Quad Squad kept the penalty box seats warm. Quad Squad had a break when Serifier picked up 14 points towards the end of the first half, even though her team started with a short pack. Gingah Snap answered 3 jams later and picked up 17 points of her team leading 67 points. The half ended with the Unholy Rollers having a commanding 103-50 lead.

To start the second half, the Unholy Rollers continued to dominate off the jam line and picked up 12 leads for the half. They also continued their strong team defense, with notable blocking from team captain Off Me Rocker, rookie Rhubarbarian, and *Kel*Fire*Warrior.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media



The Quad Squad rode on the back of Upset, who took lead jammer in each of her jams in the second half and had several double digit jams on the way to her total 107 points for the night. Quad Squad also had strong jamming from The Trickster who forced many quick call-offs by the Unholy jammers. Though Quad Squad out-scored the Unholies in the second half, they came up short and the Unholy Rollers sailed to their first victory, 173-150.



Vaudeville Vixens 180, Reservoir Dolls 224 (Stats)

            The second bout of the night had the Vaudeville Vixens facing off against the Reservoir Dolls. Both teams were coming off of victories in the first bout. The Vixens dominated the jam line in the first half and Black Velvet and Shantastic McAwesome showed off their footwork to get around the Reservoir Dolls blockers. Overall, the Vixens earned lead jammer status on 15 of the first 23 Jams.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media

Not to be outdone, Lady Who-ha and Blitz Siren put up some big jams in the first half as well. Towards the end of the first half, Lady Who-ha scored 17 points courtesy of a power jam and some excellent offense being played by Res Dolls blockers Lips Macker, Block Ness Monster, Frankie Fatale, and Critical Tits.

The half ended with the Vixens out front 113-80.

The second half started with renewed defensive strength by the Res Dolls and they began chipping away at the Vixen’s lead. In the 6th jam of the half, Lady Who-ha danced through the pack for 12 unanswered points bringing the Res Dolls within striking distance. Two jams later, Nat Splat picked up 15 points for the Res Dolls and a lead change with the score of 121-122.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media


Plagued by jammer penalties, the Vixens struggled to get much going. The Res Dolls took full advantage of the power jams given to them with double digit jams from Lady Who-ha, Mouse, and Blitz Siren. The Vixens continued to try to maintain the lead with help from Shantastic McAwesome and Black Velvet (who lead the way with 88 points). Ultimately, it wasn’t enough and Vixens walked the plank with the final score of Vixens 180 and the Reservoir Dolls 224.




– Anonymous

Recap! Season 14 Game 1 – January 13, 2018

Black & Bluebirds 163, RumbleBeez 154 (stats)

Season 14 of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls Roller Derby got underway on Saturday, January 13th as fans of all ages flocked to the Coliseum at the Alliant Energy Center.  The first bout of the night was an exhibition match of the Wreckers Madison Roller Derby’s (recreational league) two teams, the Rumble Beez and the Black & Blue Birds.  The ‘Birds wasted no time in getting a lead with two big jams from foster skater,  Nat Splat, who led her team with 51 points.  Seven minutes into the game, the ‘Birds led by 20, 45-25.  Two jams later, Dammit Janet rolled for 21 points in a power jam to put her team up even further, 73-42.

The ‘Beez struggled to keep up, mainly due to jammer penalties.  They gave their opponents power jams in the final five jams of the first half.  Despite this, VHS RewindHer was still able to net nine points in the final jam of the period for the ‘Beez.  The ‘Birds held a 43-point advantage at halftime, 107-64.

The RumbleBeez began clawing their way out of their hole, holding the ’Birds scoreless for the first five jams of the second half.  While their defense stepped up their game, the offense was still a little sluggish, partially due to great defense by blockers Gloom (foster skater), Mae Lay, and Poke E Doll of the ‘Birds.  

Offensively, Evil Elfsies was the one bright spot for the ‘Beez, scoring a game-high 67 points and keeping the game within reach for her team.  She reeled off a 14-point jam with four minutes left in the game to close the gap 150-129.  In the final jam of the game, The Mad Gabber (foster skater) cruised for 25 points for the ‘Beez, but they still fell short.  The ‘Birds held on to win 163-154.


Vaudeville Vixens 182, Unholy Rollers 178 (stats)

The 2018 season of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls started with the Unholy Rollers taking on the Vaudeville Vixens.  The Unholies wasted no time in establishing themselves in the new year by jumping to a 33-10 lead early on.  Their lead held for the first 15 minutes of the game, but the Vixens stayed in it with tough jams from Shantastic McAwesome.  Eventually, Vixen jammer Blanche Devereauxxx tied it 48-48.  

Over the next eight minutes, the lead changed hands four times.  With six minutes left in the half and the Unholies ahead 73-69, Gertrude Awakening charged through for 10 points, but on the same jam, Black Velvet spun through the pack for 14 to knot the score at 83.  On the next jam the Vixens reclaimed the lead and in the waning minutes of the half, built the lead up to 98-85.

The Unholies notched up their defense at the start of the second half. The Vixens only scored three points in the first seven minutes of the period, due to tough defense by Toast and rookies Rhubarbian and Pegasass.  They overtook the Vixens 103-101 on a four-point jam by Tango de Muerte, who led all scoring with 77.  On the next jam, Dalek Doll scampered through the pack for 20 points on a power jam to put the Vixens back on top.  The lead changed four times again over the next 11 minutes.  With 12 minutes to go in the game, the Vixens clung to a 141-140 lead.

The game stayed close for the remainder of the game.  With 24 seconds left in the game, the Unholies led 178-167.  Shantastic McAwesome rambled for 15 of her team-high 55 points while Tango de Muerte occupied the penalty box twice in the final jam in an exciting turn of events.  The Vixens emerged victorious 182-178.

Photo Credit: Tim Smith


Reservoir Dolls 219, Quad Squad 208 (stats)

The final bout of the evening pitted the Reservoir Dolls against two-time defending champions Quad Squad.  The Res Dolls took advantage of the high energy lingering in the building from the previous bout by getting out to an early lead.  They consistently gained lead jammer status to build up an 86-29 lead halfway through the first half with tough jams by Tenacious D and Mouse and effective blocking by Ms.Mechanix, Calla DeWilde, and Full Frontal Jewdity.

Quad Squad’s turn towards the dark side seemed to be affecting them offensively.  Their jammers were spending a lot of time in the penalty box, and when they were on the track, they were being stifled.  They only had two double-digit jams in the entire first half, a 10-point effort from The Trickster and a 13-point rush from Chick Chick Boom.  The half ended with the Res Dolls leading by 54 points, 127-73.

The start of the second half didn’t fare much better for Team Green, until Spam squeezed through for 15 of her team-high 65 points eight minutes into the half.  They not only started netting more points per jam, their defense also began to clamp down on Res Doll jammers, with notable efforts from Poison Dart, Conan the Mean Librarian, and rookie Quilla DeVille.  

The Res Dolls were still ahead by 21 points, 177-156, when Res Doll jammer Nat Splat lost a wheel, passed her star to Siouxpernova, remained on the track, and continued to block.  The Quad Squad seemed to use the unusual situation to gain momentum and sneak back into the game.  With five minutes left in the game, they crept to within nine points, 200-191.  In the second to last jam, Ice Pick of the Quad Squad took a star pass and then ended up in the penalty box at the end of the jam. Reservoir Dolls got a power jam start, but Quad Squad held tight to their defenses, and Ice Pick got lead jammer status coming from the box. Ice Pick then got “iced” by the Reservoir Dolls defense while Nat Splat enjoyed a couple of scoring passes. In the end, the Res Dolls upset the Quad Squad 219-208.

Photo Credit: Nuoffer Media

That’s right! The Mad Rollin’ Dolls are back in the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum at the Alliant Energy Center, and it’s an all-pirate themed evening of hard hits and fast moves! Doors open at 5p.m. and first whistle at 6 p.m.

Tickets available online now!

– Peter Rabid

Season 14 Game Dates Announced

Get our your calendars and mark down the dates for the Mad Rollin’ Dolls FOURTEENTH SEASON of home team game play, including three games back in the Coliseum!

Your favorite teams (Unholy Rollers, Reservoir Dolls, Quad Squad, Vaudeville Vixens) return to the track in 2018:

January 13 – Coliseum
February 3 – Coliseum
March 3 – Exhibition Halls
April 7 – Coliseum
April 28 – Exhibition Halls

More details to come, but we can’t wait to see you there.

Recap: Season 13 Championships and Wreckspo

Rumble Beez 204, Black’n’Bluebirds 157

Photo by Dave Schrader

Madison Roller Derby fans packed into the Alliant Energy Center Saturday, April 29 to take in the final night of the 2017 season. By the time the smoke cleared a champion would be crowned, but first up, fans were treated to an exhibition bout of the two teams that make up the Mad Wreckin’ Dolls, Madison’s recreational roller derby league. The Rumble Beez (in yellow) got ahead 12-0 by the second jam, thanks to a nine-point jam from Ann Ominous. Kat Scratch Fever got the Black’n’Bluebirds (in blue) right back in with 14 points on the very next jam. The Beez’ jammers started getting into a groove and halfway through the first half had built a 53-37 lead.

The Birds’ defense clamped down, holding the Beez scoreless for three straight jams and allowing their own jammers to get a foothold in the scoring column. A 14-point jam from Automic Fall got the ‘Birds back on top, 55-53. Ann Ominous got her team the lead back on the next jam, netting four of her game-high 59 points. Kat Scratch Fever put the ‘Birds right back on top on the ensuing jam, getting ten of her team-high 52 points. The ‘Birds hung on to their lead, but their blockers couldn’t keep the Beez off the board. Going in to the half, the Black’n’Bluebirds clung to a 98-94 lead.

The Rumble Beez came out fast in the second half. Callegory got eight points in the first jam of the period. Ann Ominous hustled for 15 more on the next jam, and Elf rolled for 15 more to put the Beez up 132-101 five minutes into the second half. Birds’ defense finally closed the floodgates and managed to get some offense going. Lady Painicorn and June Hatchet were able to add points intermittently, but could not really dig into the lead that the Beez had solidified.

Consistently holding onto a lead of around 30 points, The Beez’ defense continued to stave off attempts by the ‘Birds to close the gap. With ten minutes remaining in the half, Ace of Skates and Battle Ax were able to extend their team’s lead with ten- and eight-point jams respectively. The Black’n’Bluebirds could not muster a response. The game ended with the Rumble Beez victorious, 204-157.

Reservoir Dolls 250, Unholy Rollers 206 (stats)

Next came the Grudge Match, the battle for third place. The Reservoir Dolls found themselves occupying the cellar and wanted nothing more than to finish the season with at least one victory. Five minutes into the game, it looked like they would stay there. Jamming for the Unholies, Shananaguns bolted through for 23 points on a power jam and put her team ahead 30-9. The Res Doll blockers dug in, holding their opponents scoreless for five jams and got back on top 38-33 with Tenacious D doing much of the offensive heavy-hitting.

The Res Dolls continued to build their lead aided by Mouse’s 17-point jam, but it was nullified by a 25-point power jam by Gingah Snap, putting the Unholies ahead 91-89. Tenacious D reeled off 26 of her game-high 97 points on the next jam to put the Res Dolls back on top. Fang Dangled got 14 points on the next jam to bring the Unholies to within two points to close out the half. It was a tight match so far, with the Reservoir Dolls leading 115-113.

The intensity continued when the whistle blew to start the second half. The jam clock nearly expired before Tango de Muerte finally burst through the pack for lead jam. After the dust settled, the Unholies were up by three points and three Res Doll blockers were in the penalty box. The Unholies continued to add to their lead until Ladie Who-Ha struck for 25 points on a power jam to put the Res Dolls back on top 154-150. The Res Dolls failed to gain a decisive advantage. Gingah Snap kept her team close, scoring a total of 19 of her team-high 78 points in consecutive jams with help from blockers Splatter Alice and Hello, Sailor.

Tenacious D re-entered the game wearing the star, scoring 19 points in an effort to put the game out of reach. Both defenses stepped up their game, the Unholies keeping their team within striking distance and the Res Dolls keeping their opponents momentarily at bay. Going into the final jam of the game, the Reservoir Dolls were ahead 226-206. Gingah Snap aggressively fought to pull her team through to victory, but spent two stints in the penalty box in the process. Tenacious D rolled for 24 points to seal the win for the Res Dolls, 250- 206. In the league’s 13-year history, the Reservoir Dolls have never finished a season in last place, and they held onto that streak with their 3rd place finish for the year.

Quad Squad 173, Vaudeville Vixens 162 (stats)

After two exciting bouts, the much-awaited championship game was upon us, and it was to be a rematch of last year’s final bout. The undefeated Vaudeville Vixens were eager to bring home Leggy for the first time since 2009, while the Quad Squad yearned for nothing more than to repeat as champions. The Vixens charged right out of the gate, with Black Velvet skating for ten points with help from great blocking by A Magnitude 10 and Bandana Split. Quad Squad’s defense held their opponents scoreless for the next three jams and took the lead on Darkhorse’s 15-point scamper, 24-10. Team Green kept the Vixens at bay with great blocking from Allie Gator and Kentucky Fried Carnage, but finally Jostlin’ Hell broke through for 19 points on a power jam to put the Vixens up 73-58.

Two jams later Darkhorse got the lead back for the Quad Squad, getting 13 of her 62 points. The next jam, Black Velvet spun through the pack for 15- of her team-high 66 points. Despite only scoring one point over the last five minutes of the period, the Vixens’ defense held off the Quad Squad to end the half ahead 92-90.

Black Velvet opened the second half by getting lead jam and cruising for 15 points. The Vixen defense cranked the intensity up a notch, yielding only three points over the first seven minutes of the period. Now down 129-102, the Quad Squad went on the defensive, holding the Vixens scoreless for five minutes with help from blockers Wendy U. Wannadie, Thrill Show, and Crystal Ice. With 12 minutes left in the game, Hammer Abby skated for 19 of her game-high 79 points to get to within 13 points of the Vixens, 143-130.

Photo by Justin Nuoffer

Four jams later, Hammer Abby rolled for 13 more to put her team ahead 152-151. Blanche Devereauxxx got the lead back for the Vixens on the next jam, and Darkhorse tied it on the next. Two jams later, the Vixens held a 159-155 lead with just over three minutes left. On the next jam, just when it looked like the Vaudeville Vixens were going to add to their razor-thin lead and potentially clinch the win, Shantastic McAwesome got whistled for a track cut. Hammer Abby capitalized on the advantage to net her team a ten-point jam. On the next jam, Blanche Devereauxx nearly got lead but due to a no-pass-no-penalty, that distinction actually went to Darkhorse, who patiently worked against the Vixens defense while her own blockers put the brakes on Blanche and waited for the period clock to expire. The Quad Squad cinched their victory and the championship, 173-162. It is their fifth league championship overall and their second in as many years.

For a look at the season stats overall, click here.

MRD takes the summer off before returning for their 14th season, starting in January 2018. In the meantime, be sure to follow along with and cheer for their all-star Dairyland Dolls, as they travel to represent Madison and compete on the international level. Their next game will be May 20 in Chicago, at the Windy City Rollers.

– Recap by Peter Rabid

Recap: Season 13 Game 4 semi-finals and all-star game

Ann Arbor Derby Dimes Brawlstars 180, Mad Rollin’ Dolls Dairyland Dolls 154 (stats)

Madison roller derby fans received a special treat on Saturday, March 4:.The Mad Rollin’ Dolls home season semi-finals was a triple header that began with the first WFTDA-sanctioned game of the 2017 season for their all-star Dairyland Dolls.

The #33-ranked Dairyland Dolls took on the #32 Brawlstars from Ann Arbor, Michigan in what was also the first sanctioned D1 game of the year, with a newly updated ruleset to boot.

The game was a defensive battle from the start. In the first 11 minutes of the game Black Velvet was the only Madison skater to get lead jammer status, but the Brawlstars still failed to get a decisive advantage, managing only an 18-8 lead. Helen Killer finally helped her team extend their lead with a 10 point run. Two jams later, Mau busted through on a power jam for 23 points, putting the Dairyland Dolls ahead for the first time in the game, 39-32.

The lead changed three times in the next five jams. Black Velvet spun through the pack for 10 of her game-high 57 points for Madison, and Lezzie Arnaz pushed through for eight for the Brawlstars. On the next jam, Helen Killer struck again, racking up16 of her team-high 56 points to finally get the Brawlstars some breathing room, 85-59. The half ended three jams later the same way it started, the two teams grinding it out on the track with little to show offensively, and 90-65 in favor of the visiting Brawlstars.

Madison charged out of the gate in the second half with three straight lead jam calls and hard-hitting defense from Block Ness Monster, Tipsy Velvet, and Lips Macker. Mau pounded out 14 points on a power jam and Mouse got her team to within five points, 91-86. The DDs continued to get lead jams over the next ten minutes, but could not get any closer due to the staunch, coordinated blocking from the Brawlstars’ Jadzia Smax, Michelle O’Bomb Ya, and Emma Pistol. Finally, Hellen Killer widened her team’s lead on a 17-point jam to go up 140- 116. Fracture Mechanichs extended that lead with an 18-point jam, but Darkhorse answered back immediately with a 15-point jam of her own keep Madison in the mix with the game clock running down.

The Brawlstars’ defense kept the Dairyland Dolls off the board for the next five jams, adding a few points to their lead, but more importantly, eating up the clock. On the last jam of the game, Black Velvet made a valiant effort to bring her team back, contributing 15 points, but it wasn’t quite enough. Ann Arbor held off Madison, ending with a score of 180-154.

Vaudeville Vixens 218, Reservoir Dolls 140 (stats)

The second bout of the night featured the 0-3 Reservoir Dolls against the undefeated Vaudeville Vixens, who were on a mission to get back into the league Championship game. The first ten minutes were a back-and-forth defensive battle with the Res Dolls clinging to a small 21-14 lead. On the next jam, the Vixens’ Shantastic McAwesome cruised through the pack on a power jam for 25 points. Dalek Doll then streaked through for 23 of her game-high 78 points on the ensuing jam to put the Vixens up 62-34 halfway through the first period.

Not to be outdone, Tenacious D slashed through the pack for 13 on a power jam to get the Res Dolls closer, but the Skate Crime Syndicate was then held scoreless for the next three jams due to solid Vixen defensive efforts from Bonnie Riot and Whiskey ChaseHer. A 19-point jam from Jostlin’ Hell put the Vixens over the century mark and a 32-point scamper from Dalek Doll put the Res Dolls in an even deeper hole. The half ended with the Vaudeville Vixens on top 139- 76.

The Vaudeville Vixens came out in the second half intent on preserving their advantage by getting lead on the first four jams of the period, but couldn’t keep their opponents totally off the board. Reservoir Doll Nat Splat scored 10 of her team-high 42 points during one of those jams, getting sprung by blockers Miss Mechanix and Lips Macker. However, it seemed as the game went on, any headway they made offensively the Vixens countered with a near-equal scoring effort. The Res Dolls could not get any closer than 70 points for the remainder of the game.

The Vixens reached the Championship game for the second straight season, this time as the #1 seed, with a 218-140 victory over the Reservoir Dolls.

Quad Squad 207, Unholy Rollers 152 (stats)

The Quad Squad was intent on defending their title going into their semi-final bout against the Unholy Rollers, as evidenced by the first jam of the game. Booty Callins, Wendy U. Wannadie, Allie Gator, and returning vet Haser clamped down on Unholy jammer Gertrude Awakening while jammer Hammer Abby cruised through the pack for 32 of her game-high 94 points. The Unholies were not demoralized, though, and three jams later jammer Toast grabbed 18 points while their defense held the Quad Squad scoreless for three jams. They clawed their way back steadily and eventually took the lead halfway through the period, as newly-acquired pivot Shananaguns sprinted through for 19 after receiving a star pass.

Ahead 61-51, the Unholies added to their lead, assisted by stifling defense from Splatter Alice, Goldman Smacks, and Scarlett O’Snareya, and scoring from Toast, who led the Unholy Rollers overall with 34 points. At halftime, the Unholy Rollers led 83-72.

The Team in Green would not go down without a fight and came out strong in the second half. Darkhorse skated for eight and 19 points on lead jams to put her team back in the lead, 111-96. The Unholies tried to keep the Quad Squad reined in, but Mack the Knife scored 18 points on a power jam, further extending her team’s lead. Small scoring efforts and effective time management kept their opponents from narrowing the deficit. Going into the final stretch, the Quad Squad led, 164-105.

Gertrude Awakening and Micromauler combined for 14 points on the next jam, and a few minutes later Tango de Muerte scored 10 to get the Unholies back within 33, but a final 25-point jam by Hammer Abby sealed the deal. The Quad Squad won the contest 207-152, poised to defend their championship title and the Leggy trophy in a rematch with the Vaudeville Vixens on April 29 at the Alliant Energy Center.

– by Peter Rabid

Huge thanks as always to all the roller derby photographers who work hard to make us look extra awesome – photos in this post by Steve Jurkovic (see full albums of these games at his page)

Previewing Game 4 and the upcoming Dairyland Dolls season

Let Hoppe Go Lucky and Conan the Librarian give you a little preview of our March 4 game and the upcoming Dairyland Dolls season in general, thanks to WI57

Recap! Season 13 Game 3 – February 18, 2017

Vaudeville Vixens 211, Unholy Rollers 122 (stats)

The excitement was high in the cozy Alliant Energy Center on Saturday, February 18 as the Mad Rollin’ Dolls’ faithful packed Exhibition Hall A, waiting to see if the Vaudeville Vixens’ juggernaut could be derailed.

Ten minutes into the first period, it looked as though the Unholy Rollers could be the team to do just that. Jamming from Gertrude Awakening and Fang Dangled and smothering defense from rookie Goldman Smacks, Scarlett O’Snareya, and Hello, Sailor gave the Unholies an early lead, 44-23. The Vixens, with the exception of one power jam, just could not break through the near-impenetrable wall that the Unholies put up.

Vixens bench coach Nefairyous regrouped her team during a timeout, and it seemed to be effective, as the Vixens started chipping away at the deficit. Over the next 12 minutes, they outscored the Unholy Rollers 32-3, getting back on top 65-47, thanks to hard hits from Feminine Hijinx, Neon Arzach, and Lemon Dropkick. Jostlin’ Hell found ways to sneak through the pack on her way to a game-high 76 points to pad the Vixens’ lead. The Unholies’ defense was still relatively effective, keeping the opposing offense from gaining a decisive advantage. The half ended with the Unholies trailing by a manageable 23 points, 77-54.

The Vixens began to add to their lead at the start of the second half. Five minutes into the period, Blanche Devereauxxx broke through for 14 points on a power jam to put her team ahead 103-57. Moments later, Dalek Doll and Jostlin’ Hell each bolted through for 16 and 14 points respectively to widen the gap further. Their defense was effective as well, giving up only 14 points during that 15 minute stretch.

Gertrude Awakening was finally able to get some offense going for the Unholies, getting nineteen total points of her team high 45 during her next two turns donning the star. However, the defense was visibly tired from their ferocious play early in the contest, giving up big jams in the closing minutes of the game. This enabled the Vixens to cruise to a 211-122 victory, clinching the #1 seed going into next month’s league semifinals.

Quad Squad 277, Reservoir Dolls 141 (stats)

The second bout of the night also started as a defensive battle, but five minutes in, Hammer Abby took off on an eight point power jam, putting the Quad Squad up 21-14. They continued to build on their lead, getting consistent lead jams and relying on stiff defensive blocking from Thrill Show, Sooper Yooper, and Booty Callins. Halfway through the period, they found themselves with a 52 point lead, 81-29.

The Reservoir Dolls bolstered their defense, holding the opposition scoreless for four straight jams with notable efforts from blockers Slyanide, Mass Myrtle, and Siouxpernova. Offensively, however, they could only muster seven points themselves during that span. Soon, the Quad Squad was back on the offensive, getting a 15 and a 21 point jam from Hammer Abby, who led all scorers with 95 on the night. The half ended on a wild jam. With neither team getting lead jam, Mouse scored 20 for the Res Dolls, getting through the pack following huge holes made by rookie Auntie Matter, Block Ness Monster, and Full Frontal Jewdity. But Mack the Knife rolled for 25 points right under the noses of the defenders after receiving a star pass, nullifying Mouse’s effort. The two teams rolled off the floor for halftime with Quad Squad dominating 157-76.

The Reservoir Dolls’ offense started the second half with their work cut out for them, but still couldn’t light a spark. They continued to struggle to get lead jams and could not hold back the floodwaters that were the Quad Squad’s offensive blockers. The Res Dolls finally got over the century mark with 15 minutes left to go in the game, but were still down by over 100 points, 221-104. They finally got defensive stops on four straight jams, but again couldn’t make any headway offensively. Only Tenacious D was able to do any significant scoring, getting 18 of her team high 44 points on a single jam, but it was much too late to offset the damage that was already done. Hammer Abby closed the game on a power jam, clinching the game for her team 277-141.

Season 13 semifinals roll into the Alliant Energy Center on Saturday, March 4 – and it’s a triple header! The first game of the night starts early, with doors opening at 4 and the first whistle at 4:15 p.m. MRD’s own all-star Dairyland Dolls will play the first sanctioned D1 WFTDA game of the year against the visiting Ann Arbor Derby Dimes’ Brawlstars. That will be followed by the #1 Vaudeville Vixens vs. the #4 Reservoir Dolls, and be capped off by the #2 Quad Squad vs. the #3 Unholy Rollers. Don’t miss out: Get your tickets now!

– Peter Rabid

Recap! Season 13 Game 2 – Jan. 7, 2017

Photo by Steve Jurkovic

Unholy Rollers 207, Reservoir Dolls 159 (stats)

Madison fans braved the frigid temperatures on Saturday, January 7 in anticipation of seeing their favorite teams and skaters warm their hearts with a night of fast-paced and hard-hitting roller derby.

That didn’t take long, as the Unholy Rollers steadily built a lead over their opponents the Reservoir Dolls with big jams from Gertrude Awakening and rookie Toast. Ten minutes into the game they held a 40-24 lead. Tenacious D got the Res Dolls back into the game with a 15-point jam to bring her team within a point of overtaking the lead. Rookie jammer (recently returned from a stint with Rose City in Portland) Chairman Mau put the Res Dolls back on top 42-41, grinding out three points on the next jam. Three jams later, she extended her team’s lead with blocking help from Lips Mmacker, Full Frontal Jewdity, and rookie Auntie-Matter.

The Unholies’ blockers stood united to keep their team from falling too far behind, though. Tango De Muerte, Hanna Cuffs, and rookie Kel Fire Warrior sprung jammer Fang Dangled to put the Unholies ahead 79- 68 with five minutes left in the half. Ladie Who-Ha narrowed the deficit by scoring ten of her team-high 49 points to bring the Res Dolls back, and Tenacious D put them ahead on the last jam on the half. The period ended with the Reservoir Dolls clinging to a 96-91 lead.

The opening minutes of the second half saw the Unholy Rollers bounce back with Fang Dangled getting 14 of her game-high 67 points to put her team ahead, while her teammates held their opponents to a total of four points in the first five minutes of the period. Ladie Who-Ha got the Res Dolls back in the game with a 16-point effort, narrowing the gap to a 122-116 advantage for the Unholies.

The defense for the Unholies took over then, holding their opponents scoreless for four jams while their jammers worked to add to the Unholies’ lead. Fang Dangled and Gertrude Awakening came up big on a couple of jams to extend their lead further. With six minutes remaining in the game, they held a 168-139 advantage. Tenacious D and Mouse fought through the pack for 12 and eight point rallies to try to spark the Res Dolls into a comeback, but Gingah Snap peeled off 22 points on a power jam to clinch the win fro the Unholies. In their first victory since the 2015 season, the Unholy Rollers vanquished the Reservoir Dolls 207-159.

Photo by Steve Jurkovic

Vaudeville Vixens 186, Quad Squad 141 (stats)

The second bout of the night was a rematch of the 2016 Championship game. The hungry Vaudeville Vixens and their fans were eager to see a different outcome this time around, but Quad Squad jumped out to an early lead behind jams from Hammer Abby and Brokeback Jac. Seven minutes into the game, Team Green was up 32-14. Over the next seven minutes, however, Vixens defenders held the Quad Squad scoreless while efforts from Jostlin’ Hell and Black Velvet brought the two teams even.

Scoring was hard to come by for both teams for the remainder of the half. Jams yielded few points for either team, with the exception of two Quad Squad power jams that got them some breathing room, putting them ahead 60-47. Black Velvet ripped through the pack for 10 points to close the gap, and Blanche Devereauxxx put the Vixens over the hump with a four point jam to close the half. As the teams vacated the track for halftime, the Vaudeville Vixens held a razor-thin 61-60 advantage in a low-scoring defensive onslaught.

It was anybody’s game, and the Quad Squad started the second half intent on staking their claim. They took back the lead on a jam by Darkhorse and defense by blockers Allie Gator, Crystal Ice, and rookie Ahna Roll. The Vixens took the advantage right back on Shantastic McAwesome’s 14-point scramble. Hammer Abby tried to right the ship by scoring 10 of her team-high 56 points on the next jam. Black Velvet came out of the penalty box and scored 13 points of her own during the same jam to keep the Vixens in the lead 89-84.

The Quad Squad tried to keep it close, but couldn’t quite keep things together defensively. Jostlin’ Hell scored 23 of her game-high 62 points two jams later with help from blockers Darling Nikki and Feminine Hijinx. Eight minutes later she scored 13 more. With four minutes left in the game, the Quad Squad was down 148-137, still within reach with plenty of time to pull ahead. On the next jam, with Darkhorse serving two sentences in the penalty box, Shantastic McAwesome glided through for a 27 point power jam to put the game out of reach. The contest ended with the Vaudeville Vixens victorious over the Quad Squad for the first time since the 2013 season, with a score of 186-141.

Things just get more exciting with the third game of the season, coming February 18 to the Exhibition Hall at the Alliant Energy Center! Get your tickets early, as we’ll be in just one hall for this double header and it WILL sell out!

– recap by Peter Rabid

Recap! Season 13 Home Opener – Dec. 10, 2016

Gertrude Awakening and Hammer Abby face off – photo by Justin Nuoffer

Quad Squad 202, Unholy Rollers 143 (stats)

The die-hard fans of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls braved the snow Saturday, December 10th to take in the 2017 Season Opener. The first bout of the evening featured the Unholy Rollers against the Quad Squad. The Defending Champs wasted no time getting on the board, quickly getting lead on the first two jams and jumping to a 14-0 lead. The Unholies finally got some points on a lead jam by Gingah Snap, grabbing nine of her team-high 61 tallies. Team Green’s defense went back to stifling the Unholy jammers, allowing only seven points over the next 12 minutes.

Quad Squad jammers kept steady pressure on the opposing defense, getting lead on seven consecutive jams, highlighted by Pied Typer’s 15-point power jam to put her team ahead 56-12. Four minutes later Hammer Abby, who led all skaters with 64 points, sprung through for 10 points after being freed up by a super crushing block from Wendy U. Wannadie. Team Green was up 74-16 and looking to put the game out of reach.

The Unholy Rollers found themselves in a struggle to stay in the game. With just over seven minutes left in the half, Gingah Snap came through again, this time on a 17- point power jam. She and rookie Toast were the only Unholy jammers to score at all in the first half, until Fang Dangled squeaked through the pack for a single point in the last jam of the period. The half ended with the Quad Squad holding a commanding-but-not-insurmountable lead, 110-48.

The Unholies came out with renewed vigor to start the second half. Their jammers charged out ahead of the pack, getting lead for the first six jams of the period, with jammers Fang Dangled, Gertrude Awakening, and Tango de Muerte contributing to the scoring effort. Seven minutes in, the Quad Squad’s lead was down to 119-80.

Hammer Abby got her team out of their offensive funk, slashing for 20 points on a power jam. Eight minutes later, Chicago transfer Eleanor Bruisevelt scored her first points as a Mad Rollin’ Doll, sliding through for nine points assisted by blockers Conan The Librarian and Thrill Show. The teams traded lead jams for the rest of the game, keeping the Unholies from extending their surge. The Quad Squad continued the quest to defend their title, winning 202-143.

Mouse breaks through – photo by David Nuoffer

Vaudeville Vixens 301, Reservoir Dolls 115 (stats)

The second bout of the evening featured the surging Vaudeville Vixens, focused on avenging last season’s heartbreaking second place finish, against the young and hopeful Reservoir Dolls. The Vixens began the game by steadily out-pacing the Res Dolls, behind tough jams from Black Velvet, Dalek Doll, and Jostlin’ Hell. Res Doll veterans Mouse, Ladie Who-Ha, and Blitz Siren kept their team relatively close for a while, until Dalek Doll peeled off 19 points on a power jam. Shantastic McAwesome cruised for 18 more on the next jam, and with over 18 minutes gone in the first half, the Vixens were enjoying a 103-27 lead.

As the Vixens kept piling on the points, scoring for the Reservoir Dolls was hard to come by, thanks to soul-crushing defense from Neon Arzach, One Hit Wanda, and Donna Stunner. The best the Res Dolls could muster as the half neared its end was an eight-point power jam from Sassbot. The half ended with the Skate Crime Syndicate in a 93- point hole, 141-48.

The Vaudeville Vixens continued their push early in the second half. In the third jam of the period, Black Velvet weaved through the pack for 24 points. Three jams later, Shantastic McAwesome and Jostlin’ Hell spun through for 11 each on consecutive jams. Eight minutes into the half, the Vixens led 199-53.

Staying true to the character that she has displayed in her previous 12 seasons, Mouse mounted a single-handed quest to bring her team back to life. She put up 27 of her team-high 59 points on a power jam. It was not enough to demoralize the opposition, as the Vixens’ defense gave up only a total of four points over the next eight minutes. This allowed their offense to score at will, with Blanche Devereauxxx leading the onslaught with a game-high 72 points. Mouse finally pushed her team over the century mark, adding 18 points on the final jam.

The Vixens cruised to a 301-115 victory.

NEXT GAME: January 7 at the Alliant Energy Center Exhibition Halls

Thanks to Nuoffer Photography

– recap by Peter Rabid