Recap! Season 14 Game 5 – April 28th, 2018

Vaudeville Vixens 205, Reservoir Dolls 231 (STATS)

The 2018 Home season came to a close on Saturday, April 28th at the Alliant Energy Exhibition Hall. In the first game of the night, the Vaudeville Vixens took on the Reservoir Dolls. The Res Dolls won their previous meeting with the Vixens in game 2 by 40 points; however, both teams came into this game looking to end their season on a high note after having lost in the semi-finals earlier this month. The Reservoir Dolls got out to a quick start with a 34-0 lead, having earned lead jammer in each of the first 5 jams and keeping Vixens scoreless. The crowd roared as Shantastic McAwesome earned lead jammer for the Vixens in the 6th jam and picked up the first 10 points for her team. In the next jam, Black Velvet took advantage of a power start and some offense from teammate DieAFram to get lead jammer and another 5 points for her team. Unfortunately, she found herself in the penalty box at the end of the jam, allowing the Res Dolls a power start of their own. Jammer penalties would play a major part of the 1st half as 14 of 18 total jammer penalties happened in the first half, and all 11 of those penalties were within the first 10 jams of the game.

Momentum shifted back to the Vixens following the timeout called prior to the 11th jam. Shantastic McAwesome again earned lead jammer status despite excellent blocking by Calla Dewilde who seemed to be everywhere on the track. The excellent offense and defense by Vixens’ blockers DieAFram, LaMarche Madness, Hoppe Go Lucky, and Wolframmer helped clear the way for Shan to earn 18 points, while holding the Reservoir Dolls to just 4 points. Two jams later, Dalek Doll put up 21 points for the Vixens in the highest single jam for a skater for either team. Yet as it sometimes is with roller derby, this came in the same jam that the Res Dolls put up their highest scoring single jam with 20 points from Lady WhoHa. The Vixens would come to within 16 points of the Res Dolls, but trailed by 24 at the half.

The second half started much like the first as the Reservoir Dolls held the Vixens scoreless for the first 4 jams. By the end of the 10th jam of the half, the Res Dolls had built a 53 point lead. Whereas the first half was mired in jammer penalties and longer, higher scoring jams, the second half was quite the opposite with shorter, lower scoring jams. Both teams were able to spring their jammer before the other team could make multiple scoring passes. Eight times in the half a jam would end with either no points or only a single point scored.

The streak of low scoring jams came to an end in the 27th jam of the half when Vixens’ jammer, Black Velvet, capitalized on her 11th lead jammer status of the game and a power jam to pick up 19 of her team leading 67 points. The Vixens had clawed to within striking distance of the Reservoir Dolls. In the next jam, the Res Dolls’ veteran and ever patient jammer, Mouse, waited for the right opportunity and exploded through the pack for lead jammer and extended the Reservoir Dolls’ lead. It would come down to the final jam. Vixen’s jammer, Jostlin’ Hell, got through the pack first but did not earn lead jammer due to a no pass-no penalty call. She was around the track and scored a grand slam before the night’s highest scoring jammer, Lady WhoHa (100 points), would escape the pack, earning lead jammer and the ability to end the game. Reservoir Dolls won the grudge match with the Vaudeville Vixens, 231-205.

Unholy Rollers 136, Bad Squad (Quad Squad) 149 (STATS)

In the final bout of the season, The Unholy Rollers faced off against the two-time defending champion Bad Squad (Quad Squad). The Unholy Rollers were 1-2 in the regular season and made it to the final with a semi-final win over the Vaudeville Vixens. The Bad Squad went 0-3 but picked up their first win of the year in the upset victory over the Reservoir Dolls in the semi-finals. There is no questioning the level of talent on both teams, so it was anyone’s guess as to who would skate away with the title of Champion.

The Unholies drew first blood with 3 points in the 2nd jam and lead 13-5 after 3 jams. The Bad Squad kept pace with the Unholy Rollers and took the lead after the 8th jam. The very next jam, however, the Unholies took the lead right back on a 4-0 jam from Gingah Snap and strong blocking from the Manipulator, Hell Woods, Pegasass, and Rhubarbarian. They would extend their lead to 43-20 over the next 6 jams, including 14 points from Shananaguns. The next 10 jams would be very tight and evenly matched as neither team had more than a single scoring pass. That streak ended when Gingah Snap of posted 18 points while Spam (of the Bad Squad) posted 14. The Bad Squad got caught with their hand in their evil bag of tricks and began filing into the penalty box, leaving only 1 blocker in the pack. Despite this, the Bad Squad was able to hold the Unholy Rollers to only 8 points, thanks in part to the individual blocking of Crocodopolis and Anita Donut. The half ended with the Unholy Rollers on top with a commanding 95-56 lead.

Just as it was the best of times and the worst of times, this bout was the tale of two halves. Bad Squad came out in the second half looking determined; they held the Unholies scoreless for the first 3 jams of the second half. Not going down without a fight, the Unholies took the next 2 jams with 3 points from both Gingah Snap and Shananaguns. Unholy Rollers still had a commanding lead of 101-68. The tide began to turn green in the 6th jam of the half, when jammer penalties started to take their toll. Bad Squad blockers Poison Dart, Murderface, Sharknado Allie, and Electrikill Disturbance were able to help their jammer, Spam, on the power jam as well as successfully contain the Unholies during the penalty kill. The Bad Squad would hold the Unholies to only 1 point over the next 6 jams.

Slowly but surely the Bad Squad kept scratching away at the Unholy’s lead. Finally, in the 18th jam of the half, the Bad Squad would wrestle the lead away from the Unholy Rollers on a 13 point jam from their leading scorer, Upset. The Bad Squad continued to put up 3 and 4 points a jam while holding the Unholy Rollers mostly scoreless and had a 133-114 lead with 1:07 remaining on the game clock. A win was far from guaranteed as once again, the Bad Squad was again taking up residence in the penalty box. Two blockers were sitting and one standing leaving only 1 blocker on the track going into what could be the final jam of the game. The Unholy Rollers sent Shananaguns to the line against Upset and Chick Chick Boom would be the only Bad Squad blocker to start the jam. Shananaguns earned lead jammer status and began working to pick up as many points as she could while Bad Squad blockers continued to file in and out of the penalty box. Bad Squad jammer, Upset, wasn’t going down without a fight and was out of the pack and picking up points for her team. When the burst of 4 whistles finally ended the jam, Shananaguns had picked up 22 of her 61 points and Upset had countered with 16 of her 61 points and secured the win. Bad Squad took the win, 149-136.

Recap! Season 14 Game 4 – April 7th, 2018

Unholy Rollers 212, Vaudeville Vixens 151 (Stats)

The Mad Rollin’ Dolls took over the Alliant Energy Center Colosseum for Talk (Kentucky) Derby to Me!  The 2018 semi-finals were to be a re-match of the season opening match-ups. In that first bout, the Vaudeville Vixens came from behind in the final jam and prevailed for the win. This was sure to be exciting!

The Vixens were the first out of the gate and had a 12-1 lead after 3 jams. The Unholy Rollers were spurred into action and responded with an 8 point jam by Shananaguns followed by an 18 point jam by Gertrude Awakening. The Unholies went on to hold the Vixens scoreless for the next 4 jams and extended their lead to 46-21 after 9 jams. In the 10th jam, Vixen’s jammer Blanche Devereauxxx took lead jammer and the Unholies began a parade to the penalty box. Still, with the help of great blocking by Hell Woods, the Vixens were held to just 9 points in that jam.

The next 3 jams went the way of the Vixens and came all the way back to tie the game at 46. A sequence of jammer penalties helped the Unholies build up their first sizeable lead. The Vixens weren’t going to stay down and took full advantage of power jam situations including a 19 point jam from Vixens’ Rookie, LaMarche Madness. The half ended with the Unholy Rollers on top, 100 – 80.

The second half began with a series of low scoring jams as the Vixens galloped back to within 7 points. Hearing the approaching hoof beats, the Unholies kicked back into action. Power jams and strong defensive play allowed the Unholies to get high scoring jams from Gingah Snap (who scored 37 of her 57 points in two jams), and Tango de Muerte (for whom 20 of her 56 points came in 1 jam). The Unholy Rollers cruised to the finish, 212-151

While the second half may have belonged to the Unholy Rollers, the Vixens had many bright spots throughout the evening. Blocker notables were Neon, Whiskey ChaseHer, Bonnie Riot, and Lemon Dropkick. Offensively, Dalek Doll lead the way for her team with 42 points. LaMarche Madness and Blanche Devereauxxx both had 36 points.

Bad Squad (Quad Squad) 163, Reservoir Dolls 134 (Stats)

When the Bad Squad and the Reservoir Dolls met in week one, the Reservoir Dolls shocked the defending champion by taking the win in a closely matched bout. The Reservoir Dolls went on to go undefeated and grabbed the top spot in the semi-final. The Bad Squad needed a win in the rematch if they were to have a chance to defend their title from last year.

The first half started with the Reservoir Dolls jumping out to an early lead while stifling the high powered jamming of the Bad Squad. The Res Dolls had a 16-0 lead after 5 jams. The Bedazzler finally got the Bad Squad on the board by putting up 14 points in the 7th jam with the help of spectacular offensive and defensive play by Crocodopolis. Three jams later, The Trickster pulled the Bad Squad into the lead, 30-21. The lead didn’t last long as Mouse from the Reservoir Dolls cruised for 24 of her 68 points and retook the lead two jams later. Defensively, the Bad Squad pinned the Reservoir Dolls along the rail and held them scoreless for the next 8 jams and would only put up 10 more points in the half.  The half ended with the Bad Squad in front 86-59.

The second half began with both teams trading lead jammer. When a jammer wasn’t lead, they were out quickly behind them making for a lot of low scoring jams. Defensively, Bad Squad had solid blocking throughout by Quilla DeVille, Murderface, Chick Chick Boom, and Crocodopolis. The Reservoir Dolls defense wasn’t laying down. The Res Dolls had solid defense from Lips Smacker, The Mad Gabber, Calla Dewilde, and Frankie Fatale. Gradually, however, the Bad Squad pulled away from the Res Dolls on their way back to the Finals. The final score: Bad Squad 160, Reservoir Dolls 134.

On the stat sheet, Upset lead the way for the Bad Squad with 53 points, but it should be noted that they had 5 jammers with more than 20 points. For the Reservoir Dolls, Lady Who-ha was hot off the line and earned Lead Jammer in 12 of 18 jams. The Res Dolls will take on the Vaudeville Vixens in the 3rd place game in 3 weeks. The Bad Squad will defend their title and face the Unholy Rollers in the 2018 Season Final.

Recap! Season 14 Game 3 – March 3rd, 2018

Unholy Rollers 151, Reservoir Dolls 198 (stats)

Fans packed the seats at Alliant Energy Exhibition Hall on Saturday, March 3rd for the Mad Rollin’ Dolls 3rd Game of the 2018 season. Up first, the Unholy Rollers (1-1) faced off against the undefeated Reservoir Dolls (2-0). The score was tied at 10 going into the 5th jam of the bout when Res Dolls’ jammer, Nat Splat, took advantage of a power jam situation and picked up 17 points. The next 3 jams went the way of the Unholies and they held the Res Dolls scoreless while pulling themselves to within 3 points. Momentum shifted again, and the Res Dolls picked up another 10 point jam from Nat Splat. The Res Dolls slowly built their lead to 20 over the Unholies. Even so, the Unholies had some notable blocking from Goldman Smacks, the Manipulator, Toast, and Polly Avarice, making things difficult for the Reservoir Dolls jammers.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media

On the stat sheet, the first half was evenly matched. In 25 jams, The Unholy Rollers took lead Jammer 12 times to the Reservoir Dolls 10. For the Unholies, Gingah Snap lead the scoring for her team in the half with 22 points while on the other side, Nat Splat lead the Res Dolls with 36 of her total 48 points. The first half concluded with the Reservoir Dolls on top 66-57.

The second half didn’t take long to get interesting. In the third jam, Shananaguns powered through for 16 points for the Unholies. In the following jam, Unholy triple threat, Gertrude Awakening picked up another 16 points for the undead, resulting in the first lead change since the 4th jam of the game. Unholies now lead 90-84. The lead didn’t last long, however, since on the very next jam, all 4 Unholy blockers and jammer spent time in the penalty box. The Res Dolls’ Lady Who-ha took advantage and pulled out a 34 point jam. The lead returned to Res Dolls 118-94.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media

The Unholies never said die though, and Shananaguns picked up 34 of her team high 49 points, and Gertrude Awakening found all 42 of her points in the half. But they were never able to retake the lead from the Reservoir Dolls. Lady Who-ha finished the night leading all jammers in the game with a total of 58 points. Mouse followed with 50 points – 45 of which were unanswered by opposing Unholies jammers. The final score was Unholy Rollers 151 and the Reservoir Dolls 198.




Vaudeville Vixens 195, Bad (Quad) Squad 174 (stats)

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media

The evening’s second bout had the Vaudeville Vixens (1-1) facing the Bad Squad (0-2). Bad Squad jumped out to an early lead, grabbing lead jammer on the first three jams, but the Vixens forced quick call-offs and minimal points. In the fourth jam, Dalek Doll turned things up for the Vixens and flew around the track for 22 points, taking the lead from the Bad Squad. The score stayed tight until the 10th jam, when the Vixens started with a short pack and lost their jammer on a penalty. Bad Squad’s Upset rounded the track for 17 unanswered points, retaking the lead for Bad Squad. Rolls reversed on the very next jam though when Vixens’ jammer, Jostlin’ Hell, took advantage of a power jam in her favor and rattled off 13 unanswered points, tying the game at 42. But the derby gods giveth, and the derby gods taketh away. The Bad Squad retook the lead on the next jam, and added another 15 points from Upset in yet another power jam with the help of some excellent offence from teammates Murderface, Conan the *mean* Librarian, Jaws, and The Smiler.

The Vixens dug in and retook momentum, earning lead jammer status and stifling the Bad Squad offense. In the 16th jam, Dalek Doll took advantage of another power jam situation and excellent offense by teammates Whiskey ChaseHer, Bonnie Riot, Wolframmer, and LaMarche Madness. The result was a 27 point jam and retaking the lead for the Vixens. The Vixens took lead jammer status on the final ten jams of the half, more than doubling their score and held the Bad Squad to just 5 points. The half ended with the Vaudeville Vixens on top– 112 to the Bad Squad’s 63.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media

The Bad Squad came out in the second half hungry, and picked up lead on 3 of the first 4 jams, scratching away at the Vixens’ lead. Bad Squad blockers kept the Vixens’ scoring to a minimum. Upset picked up another 9 points followed by The Trickster, who grabbed 8 after receiving a star pass. In the 7th jam of the half, Serifier broke through for lead and caught the Vixens revolving to the penalty box allowing her to grab another 14 points for the Bad Squad. Four jams later, the Trickster picked up another 15 more unanswered points courtesy of a Vixen jammer penalty.

The Vixens bent, but did not break, even as the Bad Squad pulled to within 15 points. Leading scorers for their respective teams, Upset and Dalek Doll faced off in the 17 th jam of the 2 nd half. Both jammers traded penalties and Dalek Doll came away with a 16 point jam to try to widen the gap. The Bad Squad were able to bring the score to within 9 points, but the Vixens had another 2 high scoring jams from Dalek Doll (who finished the evening with 99 points—the highest of all jammers that night) and an additional 4 points from Black Velvet to hold off the surge from Bad Squad’s Spam (49 points total), Upset (63 points total), and the Trickster (26 points). The Vixens beat the Quad Squad 195-174.

Recap! Season 14 Game 2 – February 3, 2018

Unholy Rollers 173, Quad Squad 150 (Stats)

Bout 2 of the Season 14 home season raised sails as the Pirates of the Coliseum took to the track on Saturday, February 3rd. The first bout of the evening featured the Unholy Rollers and the Quad Squad who were both looking for their first win of the season.  The bout began with the Quad Squad taking a quick 7-0 lead, however the Unholies fired right back. With some strong blocking up front, the Unholy Rollers took lead jammer on each of the next 5 jams while holding the Quad Squad scoreless. Chick Chick Boom finally broke the streak and took lead jammer in the 8th jam.  A penalty ended that advantage, but not after finally breaking the Quad Squad’s scoring drought.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media

Quad Squad struggled to gain any momentum as the Unholy Rollers took lead jammer on 17 of the 23 jams in the first half alone and Quad Squad kept the penalty box seats warm. Quad Squad had a break when Serifier picked up 14 points towards the end of the first half, even though her team started with a short pack. Gingah Snap answered 3 jams later and picked up 17 points of her team leading 67 points. The half ended with the Unholy Rollers having a commanding 103-50 lead.

To start the second half, the Unholy Rollers continued to dominate off the jam line and picked up 12 leads for the half. They also continued their strong team defense, with notable blocking from team captain Off Me Rocker, rookie Rhubarbarian, and *Kel*Fire*Warrior.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media



The Quad Squad rode on the back of Upset, who took lead jammer in each of her jams in the second half and had several double digit jams on the way to her total 107 points for the night. Quad Squad also had strong jamming from The Trickster who forced many quick call-offs by the Unholy jammers. Though Quad Squad out-scored the Unholies in the second half, they came up short and the Unholy Rollers sailed to their first victory, 173-150.



Vaudeville Vixens 180, Reservoir Dolls 224 (Stats)

            The second bout of the night had the Vaudeville Vixens facing off against the Reservoir Dolls. Both teams were coming off of victories in the first bout. The Vixens dominated the jam line in the first half and Black Velvet and Shantastic McAwesome showed off their footwork to get around the Reservoir Dolls blockers. Overall, the Vixens earned lead jammer status on 15 of the first 23 Jams.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media

Not to be outdone, Lady Who-ha and Blitz Siren put up some big jams in the first half as well. Towards the end of the first half, Lady Who-ha scored 17 points courtesy of a power jam and some excellent offense being played by Res Dolls blockers Lips Macker, Block Ness Monster, Frankie Fatale, and Critical Tits.

The half ended with the Vixens out front 113-80.

The second half started with renewed defensive strength by the Res Dolls and they began chipping away at the Vixen’s lead. In the 6th jam of the half, Lady Who-ha danced through the pack for 12 unanswered points bringing the Res Dolls within striking distance. Two jams later, Nat Splat picked up 15 points for the Res Dolls and a lead change with the score of 121-122.

Photo Courtesy: Nuoffer Media


Plagued by jammer penalties, the Vixens struggled to get much going. The Res Dolls took full advantage of the power jams given to them with double digit jams from Lady Who-ha, Mouse, and Blitz Siren. The Vixens continued to try to maintain the lead with help from Shantastic McAwesome and Black Velvet (who lead the way with 88 points). Ultimately, it wasn’t enough and Vixens walked the plank with the final score of Vixens 180 and the Reservoir Dolls 224.




– Anonymous

Recap! Season 14 Game 1 – January 13, 2018

Black & Bluebirds 163, RumbleBeez 154 (stats)

Season 14 of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls Roller Derby got underway on Saturday, January 13th as fans of all ages flocked to the Coliseum at the Alliant Energy Center.  The first bout of the night was an exhibition match of the Wreckers Madison Roller Derby’s (recreational league) two teams, the Rumble Beez and the Black & Blue Birds.  The ‘Birds wasted no time in getting a lead with two big jams from foster skater,  Nat Splat, who led her team with 51 points.  Seven minutes into the game, the ‘Birds led by 20, 45-25.  Two jams later, Dammit Janet rolled for 21 points in a power jam to put her team up even further, 73-42.

The ‘Beez struggled to keep up, mainly due to jammer penalties.  They gave their opponents power jams in the final five jams of the first half.  Despite this, VHS RewindHer was still able to net nine points in the final jam of the period for the ‘Beez.  The ‘Birds held a 43-point advantage at halftime, 107-64.

The RumbleBeez began clawing their way out of their hole, holding the ’Birds scoreless for the first five jams of the second half.  While their defense stepped up their game, the offense was still a little sluggish, partially due to great defense by blockers Gloom (foster skater), Mae Lay, and Poke E Doll of the ‘Birds.  

Offensively, Evil Elfsies was the one bright spot for the ‘Beez, scoring a game-high 67 points and keeping the game within reach for her team.  She reeled off a 14-point jam with four minutes left in the game to close the gap 150-129.  In the final jam of the game, The Mad Gabber (foster skater) cruised for 25 points for the ‘Beez, but they still fell short.  The ‘Birds held on to win 163-154.


Vaudeville Vixens 182, Unholy Rollers 178 (stats)

The 2018 season of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls started with the Unholy Rollers taking on the Vaudeville Vixens.  The Unholies wasted no time in establishing themselves in the new year by jumping to a 33-10 lead early on.  Their lead held for the first 15 minutes of the game, but the Vixens stayed in it with tough jams from Shantastic McAwesome.  Eventually, Vixen jammer Blanche Devereauxxx tied it 48-48.  

Over the next eight minutes, the lead changed hands four times.  With six minutes left in the half and the Unholies ahead 73-69, Gertrude Awakening charged through for 10 points, but on the same jam, Black Velvet spun through the pack for 14 to knot the score at 83.  On the next jam the Vixens reclaimed the lead and in the waning minutes of the half, built the lead up to 98-85.

The Unholies notched up their defense at the start of the second half. The Vixens only scored three points in the first seven minutes of the period, due to tough defense by Toast and rookies Rhubarbian and Pegasass.  They overtook the Vixens 103-101 on a four-point jam by Tango de Muerte, who led all scoring with 77.  On the next jam, Dalek Doll scampered through the pack for 20 points on a power jam to put the Vixens back on top.  The lead changed four times again over the next 11 minutes.  With 12 minutes to go in the game, the Vixens clung to a 141-140 lead.

The game stayed close for the remainder of the game.  With 24 seconds left in the game, the Unholies led 178-167.  Shantastic McAwesome rambled for 15 of her team-high 55 points while Tango de Muerte occupied the penalty box twice in the final jam in an exciting turn of events.  The Vixens emerged victorious 182-178.

Photo Credit: Tim Smith


Reservoir Dolls 219, Quad Squad 208 (stats)

The final bout of the evening pitted the Reservoir Dolls against two-time defending champions Quad Squad.  The Res Dolls took advantage of the high energy lingering in the building from the previous bout by getting out to an early lead.  They consistently gained lead jammer status to build up an 86-29 lead halfway through the first half with tough jams by Tenacious D and Mouse and effective blocking by Ms.Mechanix, Calla DeWilde, and Full Frontal Jewdity.

Quad Squad’s turn towards the dark side seemed to be affecting them offensively.  Their jammers were spending a lot of time in the penalty box, and when they were on the track, they were being stifled.  They only had two double-digit jams in the entire first half, a 10-point effort from The Trickster and a 13-point rush from Chick Chick Boom.  The half ended with the Res Dolls leading by 54 points, 127-73.

The start of the second half didn’t fare much better for Team Green, until Spam squeezed through for 15 of her team-high 65 points eight minutes into the half.  They not only started netting more points per jam, their defense also began to clamp down on Res Doll jammers, with notable efforts from Poison Dart, Conan the Mean Librarian, and rookie Quilla DeVille.  

The Res Dolls were still ahead by 21 points, 177-156, when Res Doll jammer Nat Splat lost a wheel, passed her star to Siouxpernova, remained on the track, and continued to block.  The Quad Squad seemed to use the unusual situation to gain momentum and sneak back into the game.  With five minutes left in the game, they crept to within nine points, 200-191.  In the second to last jam, Ice Pick of the Quad Squad took a star pass and then ended up in the penalty box at the end of the jam. Reservoir Dolls got a power jam start, but Quad Squad held tight to their defenses, and Ice Pick got lead jammer status coming from the box. Ice Pick then got “iced” by the Reservoir Dolls defense while Nat Splat enjoyed a couple of scoring passes. In the end, the Res Dolls upset the Quad Squad 219-208.

Photo Credit: Nuoffer Media

That’s right! The Mad Rollin’ Dolls are back in the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum at the Alliant Energy Center, and it’s an all-pirate themed evening of hard hits and fast moves! Doors open at 5p.m. and first whistle at 6 p.m.

Tickets available online now!

– Peter Rabid

Season 14 Game Dates Announced

Get our your calendars and mark down the dates for the Mad Rollin’ Dolls FOURTEENTH SEASON of home team game play, including three games back in the Coliseum!

Your favorite teams (Unholy Rollers, Reservoir Dolls, Quad Squad, Vaudeville Vixens) return to the track in 2018:

January 13 – Coliseum
February 3 – Coliseum
March 3 – Exhibition Halls
April 7 – Coliseum
April 28 – Exhibition Halls

More details to come, but we can’t wait to see you there.

Recap: Season 13 Championships and Wreckspo

Rumble Beez 204, Black’n’Bluebirds 157

Photo by Dave Schrader

Madison Roller Derby fans packed into the Alliant Energy Center Saturday, April 29 to take in the final night of the 2017 season. By the time the smoke cleared a champion would be crowned, but first up, fans were treated to an exhibition bout of the two teams that make up the Mad Wreckin’ Dolls, Madison’s recreational roller derby league. The Rumble Beez (in yellow) got ahead 12-0 by the second jam, thanks to a nine-point jam from Ann Ominous. Kat Scratch Fever got the Black’n’Bluebirds (in blue) right back in with 14 points on the very next jam. The Beez’ jammers started getting into a groove and halfway through the first half had built a 53-37 lead.

The Birds’ defense clamped down, holding the Beez scoreless for three straight jams and allowing their own jammers to get a foothold in the scoring column. A 14-point jam from Automic Fall got the ‘Birds back on top, 55-53. Ann Ominous got her team the lead back on the next jam, netting four of her game-high 59 points. Kat Scratch Fever put the ‘Birds right back on top on the ensuing jam, getting ten of her team-high 52 points. The ‘Birds hung on to their lead, but their blockers couldn’t keep the Beez off the board. Going in to the half, the Black’n’Bluebirds clung to a 98-94 lead.

The Rumble Beez came out fast in the second half. Callegory got eight points in the first jam of the period. Ann Ominous hustled for 15 more on the next jam, and Elf rolled for 15 more to put the Beez up 132-101 five minutes into the second half. Birds’ defense finally closed the floodgates and managed to get some offense going. Lady Painicorn and June Hatchet were able to add points intermittently, but could not really dig into the lead that the Beez had solidified.

Consistently holding onto a lead of around 30 points, The Beez’ defense continued to stave off attempts by the ‘Birds to close the gap. With ten minutes remaining in the half, Ace of Skates and Battle Ax were able to extend their team’s lead with ten- and eight-point jams respectively. The Black’n’Bluebirds could not muster a response. The game ended with the Rumble Beez victorious, 204-157.

Reservoir Dolls 250, Unholy Rollers 206 (stats)

Next came the Grudge Match, the battle for third place. The Reservoir Dolls found themselves occupying the cellar and wanted nothing more than to finish the season with at least one victory. Five minutes into the game, it looked like they would stay there. Jamming for the Unholies, Shananaguns bolted through for 23 points on a power jam and put her team ahead 30-9. The Res Doll blockers dug in, holding their opponents scoreless for five jams and got back on top 38-33 with Tenacious D doing much of the offensive heavy-hitting.

The Res Dolls continued to build their lead aided by Mouse’s 17-point jam, but it was nullified by a 25-point power jam by Gingah Snap, putting the Unholies ahead 91-89. Tenacious D reeled off 26 of her game-high 97 points on the next jam to put the Res Dolls back on top. Fang Dangled got 14 points on the next jam to bring the Unholies to within two points to close out the half. It was a tight match so far, with the Reservoir Dolls leading 115-113.

The intensity continued when the whistle blew to start the second half. The jam clock nearly expired before Tango de Muerte finally burst through the pack for lead jam. After the dust settled, the Unholies were up by three points and three Res Doll blockers were in the penalty box. The Unholies continued to add to their lead until Ladie Who-Ha struck for 25 points on a power jam to put the Res Dolls back on top 154-150. The Res Dolls failed to gain a decisive advantage. Gingah Snap kept her team close, scoring a total of 19 of her team-high 78 points in consecutive jams with help from blockers Splatter Alice and Hello, Sailor.

Tenacious D re-entered the game wearing the star, scoring 19 points in an effort to put the game out of reach. Both defenses stepped up their game, the Unholies keeping their team within striking distance and the Res Dolls keeping their opponents momentarily at bay. Going into the final jam of the game, the Reservoir Dolls were ahead 226-206. Gingah Snap aggressively fought to pull her team through to victory, but spent two stints in the penalty box in the process. Tenacious D rolled for 24 points to seal the win for the Res Dolls, 250- 206. In the league’s 13-year history, the Reservoir Dolls have never finished a season in last place, and they held onto that streak with their 3rd place finish for the year.

Quad Squad 173, Vaudeville Vixens 162 (stats)

After two exciting bouts, the much-awaited championship game was upon us, and it was to be a rematch of last year’s final bout. The undefeated Vaudeville Vixens were eager to bring home Leggy for the first time since 2009, while the Quad Squad yearned for nothing more than to repeat as champions. The Vixens charged right out of the gate, with Black Velvet skating for ten points with help from great blocking by A Magnitude 10 and Bandana Split. Quad Squad’s defense held their opponents scoreless for the next three jams and took the lead on Darkhorse’s 15-point scamper, 24-10. Team Green kept the Vixens at bay with great blocking from Allie Gator and Kentucky Fried Carnage, but finally Jostlin’ Hell broke through for 19 points on a power jam to put the Vixens up 73-58.

Two jams later Darkhorse got the lead back for the Quad Squad, getting 13 of her 62 points. The next jam, Black Velvet spun through the pack for 15- of her team-high 66 points. Despite only scoring one point over the last five minutes of the period, the Vixens’ defense held off the Quad Squad to end the half ahead 92-90.

Black Velvet opened the second half by getting lead jam and cruising for 15 points. The Vixen defense cranked the intensity up a notch, yielding only three points over the first seven minutes of the period. Now down 129-102, the Quad Squad went on the defensive, holding the Vixens scoreless for five minutes with help from blockers Wendy U. Wannadie, Thrill Show, and Crystal Ice. With 12 minutes left in the game, Hammer Abby skated for 19 of her game-high 79 points to get to within 13 points of the Vixens, 143-130.

Photo by Justin Nuoffer

Four jams later, Hammer Abby rolled for 13 more to put her team ahead 152-151. Blanche Devereauxxx got the lead back for the Vixens on the next jam, and Darkhorse tied it on the next. Two jams later, the Vixens held a 159-155 lead with just over three minutes left. On the next jam, just when it looked like the Vaudeville Vixens were going to add to their razor-thin lead and potentially clinch the win, Shantastic McAwesome got whistled for a track cut. Hammer Abby capitalized on the advantage to net her team a ten-point jam. On the next jam, Blanche Devereauxx nearly got lead but due to a no-pass-no-penalty, that distinction actually went to Darkhorse, who patiently worked against the Vixens defense while her own blockers put the brakes on Blanche and waited for the period clock to expire. The Quad Squad cinched their victory and the championship, 173-162. It is their fifth league championship overall and their second in as many years.

For a look at the season stats overall, click here.

MRD takes the summer off before returning for their 14th season, starting in January 2018. In the meantime, be sure to follow along with and cheer for their all-star Dairyland Dolls, as they travel to represent Madison and compete on the international level. Their next game will be May 20 in Chicago, at the Windy City Rollers.

– Recap by Peter Rabid

Recap: Season 13 Game 4 semi-finals and all-star game

Ann Arbor Derby Dimes Brawlstars 180, Mad Rollin’ Dolls Dairyland Dolls 154 (stats)

Madison roller derby fans received a special treat on Saturday, March 4:.The Mad Rollin’ Dolls home season semi-finals was a triple header that began with the first WFTDA-sanctioned game of the 2017 season for their all-star Dairyland Dolls.

The #33-ranked Dairyland Dolls took on the #32 Brawlstars from Ann Arbor, Michigan in what was also the first sanctioned D1 game of the year, with a newly updated ruleset to boot.

The game was a defensive battle from the start. In the first 11 minutes of the game Black Velvet was the only Madison skater to get lead jammer status, but the Brawlstars still failed to get a decisive advantage, managing only an 18-8 lead. Helen Killer finally helped her team extend their lead with a 10 point run. Two jams later, Mau busted through on a power jam for 23 points, putting the Dairyland Dolls ahead for the first time in the game, 39-32.

The lead changed three times in the next five jams. Black Velvet spun through the pack for 10 of her game-high 57 points for Madison, and Lezzie Arnaz pushed through for eight for the Brawlstars. On the next jam, Helen Killer struck again, racking up16 of her team-high 56 points to finally get the Brawlstars some breathing room, 85-59. The half ended three jams later the same way it started, the two teams grinding it out on the track with little to show offensively, and 90-65 in favor of the visiting Brawlstars.

Madison charged out of the gate in the second half with three straight lead jam calls and hard-hitting defense from Block Ness Monster, Tipsy Velvet, and Lips Macker. Mau pounded out 14 points on a power jam and Mouse got her team to within five points, 91-86. The DDs continued to get lead jams over the next ten minutes, but could not get any closer due to the staunch, coordinated blocking from the Brawlstars’ Jadzia Smax, Michelle O’Bomb Ya, and Emma Pistol. Finally, Hellen Killer widened her team’s lead on a 17-point jam to go up 140- 116. Fracture Mechanichs extended that lead with an 18-point jam, but Darkhorse answered back immediately with a 15-point jam of her own keep Madison in the mix with the game clock running down.

The Brawlstars’ defense kept the Dairyland Dolls off the board for the next five jams, adding a few points to their lead, but more importantly, eating up the clock. On the last jam of the game, Black Velvet made a valiant effort to bring her team back, contributing 15 points, but it wasn’t quite enough. Ann Arbor held off Madison, ending with a score of 180-154.

Vaudeville Vixens 218, Reservoir Dolls 140 (stats)

The second bout of the night featured the 0-3 Reservoir Dolls against the undefeated Vaudeville Vixens, who were on a mission to get back into the league Championship game. The first ten minutes were a back-and-forth defensive battle with the Res Dolls clinging to a small 21-14 lead. On the next jam, the Vixens’ Shantastic McAwesome cruised through the pack on a power jam for 25 points. Dalek Doll then streaked through for 23 of her game-high 78 points on the ensuing jam to put the Vixens up 62-34 halfway through the first period.

Not to be outdone, Tenacious D slashed through the pack for 13 on a power jam to get the Res Dolls closer, but the Skate Crime Syndicate was then held scoreless for the next three jams due to solid Vixen defensive efforts from Bonnie Riot and Whiskey ChaseHer. A 19-point jam from Jostlin’ Hell put the Vixens over the century mark and a 32-point scamper from Dalek Doll put the Res Dolls in an even deeper hole. The half ended with the Vaudeville Vixens on top 139- 76.

The Vaudeville Vixens came out in the second half intent on preserving their advantage by getting lead on the first four jams of the period, but couldn’t keep their opponents totally off the board. Reservoir Doll Nat Splat scored 10 of her team-high 42 points during one of those jams, getting sprung by blockers Miss Mechanix and Lips Macker. However, it seemed as the game went on, any headway they made offensively the Vixens countered with a near-equal scoring effort. The Res Dolls could not get any closer than 70 points for the remainder of the game.

The Vixens reached the Championship game for the second straight season, this time as the #1 seed, with a 218-140 victory over the Reservoir Dolls.

Quad Squad 207, Unholy Rollers 152 (stats)

The Quad Squad was intent on defending their title going into their semi-final bout against the Unholy Rollers, as evidenced by the first jam of the game. Booty Callins, Wendy U. Wannadie, Allie Gator, and returning vet Haser clamped down on Unholy jammer Gertrude Awakening while jammer Hammer Abby cruised through the pack for 32 of her game-high 94 points. The Unholies were not demoralized, though, and three jams later jammer Toast grabbed 18 points while their defense held the Quad Squad scoreless for three jams. They clawed their way back steadily and eventually took the lead halfway through the period, as newly-acquired pivot Shananaguns sprinted through for 19 after receiving a star pass.

Ahead 61-51, the Unholies added to their lead, assisted by stifling defense from Splatter Alice, Goldman Smacks, and Scarlett O’Snareya, and scoring from Toast, who led the Unholy Rollers overall with 34 points. At halftime, the Unholy Rollers led 83-72.

The Team in Green would not go down without a fight and came out strong in the second half. Darkhorse skated for eight and 19 points on lead jams to put her team back in the lead, 111-96. The Unholies tried to keep the Quad Squad reined in, but Mack the Knife scored 18 points on a power jam, further extending her team’s lead. Small scoring efforts and effective time management kept their opponents from narrowing the deficit. Going into the final stretch, the Quad Squad led, 164-105.

Gertrude Awakening and Micromauler combined for 14 points on the next jam, and a few minutes later Tango de Muerte scored 10 to get the Unholies back within 33, but a final 25-point jam by Hammer Abby sealed the deal. The Quad Squad won the contest 207-152, poised to defend their championship title and the Leggy trophy in a rematch with the Vaudeville Vixens on April 29 at the Alliant Energy Center.

– by Peter Rabid

Huge thanks as always to all the roller derby photographers who work hard to make us look extra awesome – photos in this post by Steve Jurkovic (see full albums of these games at his page)

Previewing Game 4 and the upcoming Dairyland Dolls season

Let Hoppe Go Lucky and Conan the Librarian give you a little preview of our March 4 game and the upcoming Dairyland Dolls season in general, thanks to WI57

Recap! Season 13 Game 3 – February 18, 2017

Vaudeville Vixens 211, Unholy Rollers 122 (stats)

The excitement was high in the cozy Alliant Energy Center on Saturday, February 18 as the Mad Rollin’ Dolls’ faithful packed Exhibition Hall A, waiting to see if the Vaudeville Vixens’ juggernaut could be derailed.

Ten minutes into the first period, it looked as though the Unholy Rollers could be the team to do just that. Jamming from Gertrude Awakening and Fang Dangled and smothering defense from rookie Goldman Smacks, Scarlett O’Snareya, and Hello, Sailor gave the Unholies an early lead, 44-23. The Vixens, with the exception of one power jam, just could not break through the near-impenetrable wall that the Unholies put up.

Vixens bench coach Nefairyous regrouped her team during a timeout, and it seemed to be effective, as the Vixens started chipping away at the deficit. Over the next 12 minutes, they outscored the Unholy Rollers 32-3, getting back on top 65-47, thanks to hard hits from Feminine Hijinx, Neon Arzach, and Lemon Dropkick. Jostlin’ Hell found ways to sneak through the pack on her way to a game-high 76 points to pad the Vixens’ lead. The Unholies’ defense was still relatively effective, keeping the opposing offense from gaining a decisive advantage. The half ended with the Unholies trailing by a manageable 23 points, 77-54.

The Vixens began to add to their lead at the start of the second half. Five minutes into the period, Blanche Devereauxxx broke through for 14 points on a power jam to put her team ahead 103-57. Moments later, Dalek Doll and Jostlin’ Hell each bolted through for 16 and 14 points respectively to widen the gap further. Their defense was effective as well, giving up only 14 points during that 15 minute stretch.

Gertrude Awakening was finally able to get some offense going for the Unholies, getting nineteen total points of her team high 45 during her next two turns donning the star. However, the defense was visibly tired from their ferocious play early in the contest, giving up big jams in the closing minutes of the game. This enabled the Vixens to cruise to a 211-122 victory, clinching the #1 seed going into next month’s league semifinals.

Quad Squad 277, Reservoir Dolls 141 (stats)

The second bout of the night also started as a defensive battle, but five minutes in, Hammer Abby took off on an eight point power jam, putting the Quad Squad up 21-14. They continued to build on their lead, getting consistent lead jams and relying on stiff defensive blocking from Thrill Show, Sooper Yooper, and Booty Callins. Halfway through the period, they found themselves with a 52 point lead, 81-29.

The Reservoir Dolls bolstered their defense, holding the opposition scoreless for four straight jams with notable efforts from blockers Slyanide, Mass Myrtle, and Siouxpernova. Offensively, however, they could only muster seven points themselves during that span. Soon, the Quad Squad was back on the offensive, getting a 15 and a 21 point jam from Hammer Abby, who led all scorers with 95 on the night. The half ended on a wild jam. With neither team getting lead jam, Mouse scored 20 for the Res Dolls, getting through the pack following huge holes made by rookie Auntie Matter, Block Ness Monster, and Full Frontal Jewdity. But Mack the Knife rolled for 25 points right under the noses of the defenders after receiving a star pass, nullifying Mouse’s effort. The two teams rolled off the floor for halftime with Quad Squad dominating 157-76.

The Reservoir Dolls’ offense started the second half with their work cut out for them, but still couldn’t light a spark. They continued to struggle to get lead jams and could not hold back the floodwaters that were the Quad Squad’s offensive blockers. The Res Dolls finally got over the century mark with 15 minutes left to go in the game, but were still down by over 100 points, 221-104. They finally got defensive stops on four straight jams, but again couldn’t make any headway offensively. Only Tenacious D was able to do any significant scoring, getting 18 of her team high 44 points on a single jam, but it was much too late to offset the damage that was already done. Hammer Abby closed the game on a power jam, clinching the game for her team 277-141.

Season 13 semifinals roll into the Alliant Energy Center on Saturday, March 4 – and it’s a triple header! The first game of the night starts early, with doors opening at 4 and the first whistle at 4:15 p.m. MRD’s own all-star Dairyland Dolls will play the first sanctioned D1 WFTDA game of the year against the visiting Ann Arbor Derby Dimes’ Brawlstars. That will be followed by the #1 Vaudeville Vixens vs. the #4 Reservoir Dolls, and be capped off by the #2 Quad Squad vs. the #3 Unholy Rollers. Don’t miss out: Get your tickets now!

– Peter Rabid