Mad Rollin’ Dolls “New Years Bruise-O-Lutions” bout recaps: Jan. 23, 2016


Photo by Dutcher Photography

Barbed Wire Betties 230, Mad Wreckin’ Dolls 191 (stats)

The Alliant Energy Center was the place to be on Saturday night in Madison for roller derby fans of all ages, who packed the stands and seats for a rare triple header event. In addition to the hard-hitting action of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls, fans were first treated to a bonus bout as the Barbed Wire Betties of DeKalb, Ilinois took on MRD’s own recreational team, the Mad Wreckin’ Dolls.

The Wreckers jumped out to an early lead with jams by Poke E. Doll and Jenny Knoxville, but then the Betties’ blockers tightened up, freeing jammers Skeleton Keys and Showdown while holding the Wreckers scoreless for five jams. Ten minutes into the game, the Betties were up by thirty points, 43-13.

The Wreckers’ offense got into a rhythm, with multiple-pass scoring jams from Kel*fire Warrior and Urgent Scare, but defensively had a hard time keeping the Betties off the board. They were finally able to find their groove defensively with just under eleven minutes left in the half, initiating a comeback by the Wreckers. For the next seven minutes, the Wreckers outscored the Betties 43-18, bringing them to within 21 points of the visitors. Just as the Wreckers were closing in, looking to end the half with some momentum, Betties jammer TsunAmy reeled off 14 of her game-high 88 points in the final jam of the half. The Betties headed into the locker rooms ahead, 126-92.

Former Quad Squad skater Jenny Knoxville got the Wreckers back into the groove by getting lead on two of the first three jams of the second period, scoring a total of 18 of her team-high 39 points. Blockers June Hatchet, Tusions, and Hell Woods were able to open holes for their jammers to keep it close. It was beginning to look like the Wreckers were launching another comeback, but while the Wreckers were busy scoring points, Betties blockers Ruby Bruise-Her, Phoenix Enforcer, and Hurricane Katrina were enabling their jammers as well.

The two teams spent the second half trading lead jammer statuses. Jammer penalties were minimal, keeping the Barbed Wire Betties from substantially adding to their lead and the Wreckers from climbing out of the shallow hole that they were in. The last ten minutes of the game were a virtual stalemate, with neither team able pull away or close the gap. In the end, the visiting Betties endured and won, 230 to 191.


Photo by Steve Jurkovic

Quad Squad 245, Vaudeville Vixens 124 (stats)

Both teams fresh off wins in the first bouts of the season, the Quad Squad and the Vaudeville Vixens squared off in the next game of the evening to see who could continue their winning streak.

Quad Squad wasted no time in establishing dominance over their opponent. Kentucky Fried Carnage, Wendy U. Wannadie, and Guacamolly harassed Vixen jammer Shantastic McAwesome while Thrill Show grabbed 24 of her game-high 87 points for the Quad Squad. A big hit by Vixen blocker Montana Slamma sprung Darling Nikki for 14 points on the very next jam to narrow the score to 28-17 in favor of Team Green. By the next jam the Vixens were within one point but then failed to put a single mark on the scoreboard for the following 13 minutes.

Thrill Show, along with teammates Hammer Abby, Sequin Destroyher, and KY Julie, poured the points on as their blockers opened the floodgates during that stretch, pulling out to a 120-31 lead.

During the next eight minutes of the half, the Vixens were able to gain lead jammer status consistently, but were unable to put much of a dent in the deficit. They outscored the Quad Squad 33- 15 in that time frame, but going into halftime, they knew that they had their work cut out for them. The half ended with Team Green leading 135-64.

The Vaudeville Vixens continued their scoring momentum into the second half, doing it while many of their blockers were serving penalties. Jammer Black Velvet fought through the pack for 18 points with the aid of only one blocker. Later in the period, Darling Nikki also got lead jam with only one blocker. Despite valiant efforts by Vixen jammers, the consistent holes in their defense kept them from gaining on Quad Squad, who led 202-100 by thirteen minutes into the second half.

As the clock wound down, though, both teams played outstanding defense, holding their opponents scoreless for four jams in the last six minutes of the game. In the end, Quad Squad prevailed, 245-124.


Photo by Steve Jurkovic

Reservoir Dolls 242, Unholy Rollers 108 (stats)

The Exhibit Hall was still packed to the gills for the third bout of the night as the Reservoir Dolls took on the Unholy Rollers. The Skate Crime Syndicate struck hard and fast behind precise, hard-hitting offensive blocking from The Heat, and harassing defense by Calla DeWilde, Full Frontal Jewdity, and Lips Smacker. Eleven minutes in, the Unholy Rollers were in a hole, down 8 points to the Reservoir Dolls’ 62.

Gertrude Awakening finally got the Unholies rolling offensively, scoring 13 of her team high 37 points, but on the ensuing jam Res Doll jammer Blitz Siren hustled for 21 points to further widen the deficit. The defense of the Unholy Rollers was able to clamp down momentarily, allowing minimal points per jam, but were still unable to keep the Res Dolls off the board. They were barely able to score themselves, only mustering 15 points over the last nine minutes of the half. Blitz Siren closed out the scoring for the half, grabbing 25 of her game-high 67 points, and ending the first period with her team in the lead, 148-49.

The second half started just as the first half ended for the Unholies offensively, only lapping eight opposing skaters in the first eight minutes of the half. Their defense stalled the Res Doll offensive attack momentarily, only allowing six points for a seven minute stretch with notable efforts by blockers Hannah Cuffs, The Manipulator, and rookie Sugar Rush. The Res Dolls eventually found their way out of their funk with an 18-point run by Lips Smacker, and Mouse adding nine more points as well.

The Unholies took another defensive stand, holding the Res Dolls scoreless for six minutes thanks in part to Dive Hard and Micromauler, but still couldn’t close the gap. Mouse and Knockingjay poured it on at the end for the Reservoir Dolls with jams of eight and ten points respectively. They brought the game to an end, 242-108 in favor of the team in black and white.

Next Bout: Saturday, February 20 at 6 p.m. – Alliant Energy Center Exhibition Hall

The next installment in this season’s run for the championship “Leggy” trophy sees the Unholy Rollers (0-2) challenging to undefeated Quad Squad in the first game of the evening, followed by the Reservoir Dolls (1-1) vs. the Vaudeville Vixens (1-1). Once the dust settles, seeding will be determined for semi-finals in April.

Be sure to get your tickets ahead of time as these games will be played in a single Exhibition Hall and WILL sell out!

– Peter Rabid