Mad Rollin’ Dolls “Frozen Fury Road” bout recaps: Dec. 5, 2015


Photo by Dave Schrader

Quad Squad vs. Reservoir Dolls

Fans of roller derby flocked to the Alliant Energy Center on Saturday, December 5 for the opening of Mad Rollin’ Dolls’ Season 12. They had no idea what would be in store for them by the end of the evening. In the first bout of the night, Quad Squad teed off against the three-time defending MRD champion Reservoir Dolls. Team Green jumped out to an early lead from consistent lead jams by Hammer Abby and Sequin Destroyher. Points were hard to come by for the Res Dolls early on due to a series of jammer penalties. Mouse got whistled for two infractions at once, and Ladie Who-Ha had to sit twice during the next jam. Halfway through the first period Quad Squad sat atop a commanding lead, 62-18.

Quad Squad jammers continued to flummox their opponents as the half continued. With seven minutes left in the period, Ladie Who-Ha helped her team’s cause with an 18-point jam, assisted by key blocks from Res Doll rookies Tenacious D and Slyanide. It looked like the Skate Crime Syndicate was on their way to mounting a comeback, but Sequin Destroyher took charge, twirling through the Res Doll defense, skating backwards to blow kisses to opposing blockers left in her wake. The half ended with Quad Squad holding a commanding lead, 123-56.

Lips Macker and Ladie Who-Ha got on track for the Reservoir Dolls to close the deficit to 131-86 to start the second half, but Team Green’s defense clamped down and held the Res Dolls scoreless for seven minutes. Mouse got the Res Dolls back on the board with a couple of scoring jams. Trailing by 42 with 15 minutes left in the game, things were looking up for the Skate Crime Syndicate until they had a complete meltdown. Over the next seven minutes the Res Dolls had an instance where three blockers were sent to the Sin Bin at once, got sentenced for too many skaters on the track, and had one expulsion. Add to that some harassing defense by Quad Squad blockers Gouda Riddance, Guacamolly, and Girl Friday, and in no time Team Green was ahead 200-104.

Mouse tried valiantly to close the gap, scoring 37 of her team high 53 points in the last five minutes of the game, but the Quad Squad prevailed 209-144. Quad Squad was the last team to beat the Res Dolls, way back in the 2012 Championship Game. Thrillshow, recently returned from a year away, quietly led the Quad Squad in scoring with 46 points.


Photo by Dave Schrader

Vaudeville Vixens vs. Unholy Rollers

With the hundreds of fans all abuzz from the history they had just witnessed, they were hungry for more action from the next bout. The Vaudeville Vixens, who hadn’t won a home season game since the 2013, were ready to take on the Unholy Rollers. Jams from the Manipulator and Fang Dangled got the Unholies an early lead. The half went by quickly, with the Unholies holding a consistent 20 point lead for most of the way. With six minutes left in the half, key scoring efforts by Shantastic McAwesome and Dalek Doll and stout Vixens defense closed the gap, pulling the Vixens to within one point of the Unholies at 84-83.

Black Velvet got the second half under way with a 15- point scoring run to put the Vixens ahead. A tough defensive effort, particularly by A-Magnitude, Daisy Juke, Montana Slamma, and rookie Bandana Split, kept the Unholy Rollers off the board for the first five minutes of the half. Shantastic McAwesome continued her scoring onslaught, racking up a game high 80 points, and the Vixens continued their defensive prowess, holding the Unholies scoreless for another four-jam stretch. With 13 minutes left in the game, the Vixens suddenly saw themselves with a 52 point lead, 151-99.

 The Unholy Rollers tried to dig themselves out of the hole, aided by scoring efforts by rookie Gingah Snap and veteran Gertrude Awakening and notable big hits by rookie blocker Jen Detta. However, the Vixens were able to consistently score to avoid any major comeback by the opposition. The Unholies mounted a last ditch attempt to come from behind with strict time management and timely scoring. Gertrude Awakening scored eight of her team high 71 points, and then Jen Detta scored 10 while donning the star for the first time in the game. In the end, the Vixens were able to stave off the Unholy Rollers 197-163.

– recaps by Peter Rabid
Next game: January 23 – TRIPLE HEADER featuring the Mad Wreckin’ Dolls vs. the Barbed Wire Betties from DeKalb, Illinois, followed by Quad Squad vs. Vaudeville Vixens, and then Unholy Rollers vs. Reservoir Dolls. All at the Alliant Energy Center’s Exhibition Hall, doors at 3:45 p.m. and action at 4:15 p.m.