Mad Rollin’ Dolls CHAMPIONSHIPS bout recaps: May 9, 2015

Quad Squad 189, Vaudeville Vixens 119 (stats)

The seventh and final bout of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls 2015 season was on Saturday night, May 9 at the Alliant Energy Exhibition Hall. The mood was both festive and bittersweet, as local roller derby fans would see a champion crowned by the end of the evening and also see some of their favorites skate for the last time.

The Vaudeville Vixens met the Quad Squad for the first game of the evening in the Grudge Match to see who would finish in third place to finish the season. The two teams fought hard for the first eight minutes without either getting an advantage until Vixen Jostlin’ Hell Burnell busted through the pack for ten points on a power jam to break a 10-10 deadlock. They continued to add to their lead behind effective offensive blocking from Jeanne du Snark, Harley Sin, and Lemon Dropkick. Halfway through the first period, the Vixens were up 47-24.

The Quad Squad was able to keep the game within reach because of brilliant game management by bench coaches Kate Silver and La Bibliowrecka. Despite penalty troubles, they made key decisions in calling off lead jams at the right time to keep things close, eventually getting to within six points, 56-49. Then, with five minutes left in the half, the Vixens got a boost from Team Captain Nefairyous. She cruised for 20 of her team high 50 points in the final bout of her derby career on a power jam. The Vixens were able to close out the half leading 80-57.

The second half started with Vixen jammer Montana Slamma serving time from a penalty in the preceding period. This allowed Suzy Homewrecker, who led all jammers with 64 points, to bring Team Green 11 points closer to the lead. Then Sequin Destroyher grabbed 19 on a power jam to put her team ahead, 87-83. A string of jammer penalties on the Vixens gave the Quad Squad all they needed to comfortably get ahead by 61 points, 151-90, with nine minutes left in the game.

Both teams traded lead jams and scores for the next several minutes, keeping the gap between the two relatively constant. Going into the final jam, Quad Squad held a 70 point lead l81-111. Vixen bench coach Trueblood, herself participating in her last MRD bout, gave the star to Mustang for the last jam of her ten-year tenure as a Mad Rollin’ Doll. Mustang proceeded to get lead jammer status, blowing kisses and saluting the crowd between trips through the pack. Each team jammer netted eight points in the jam, making the final score 189-119 in favor of the Quad Squad.

Reservoir Dolls 198, Unholy Rollers 130 (stats)

Spectators and participants alike were anxious to get the Championship bout underway. All wondered whether the Reservoir Dolls would continue their dominance, or if the Unholy Rollers would be able to unseat the two-time reining champs. But the game first began with a moving tribute to retiring Reservoir Doll skater Rebel With A Cause, as the audience gave her a standing ovation for her last roll out.

Sproutin’ a Tail’s performance in the first half for the Res Dolls was a vote of confidence for the former, scoring points each of the seven times she wore the star.

The Unholies were able to keep it close for the first 18 minutes of the game, thanks to tough defense from I.M. Spazacus, Dive Hard, and The Manipulator. They got to within 15 points, down 53-38, but then the Skate Crime Syndicate strung together 17- and 19-point jams consecutively to build up a cushion. Magic Missile’s 17-point spree a few minutes later helped to narrow the gap. When the first half ended, the Unholies were only down by a manageable 43 points, 106-63.

In the second half, The Unholy Rollers were as near to mistake-free as a team could get. They minimized their opponents’ scoring opportunities by staying out of the penalty box. Defensively, they didn’t give up more than eight points on any single jam until the end of the game. The Reservoir Dolls didn’t beat themselves either, allowing only two opposing power jams the entire half. Magic Missile took advantage of both, scoring 14 points on each en route to a team- high 62.

The signature defense of the Res Dolls was on display for the entire game. Tough performances by The Heat, Shananaguns, Full Frontal Jewdity, and Wipeout Scout were instrumental in keeping the Unholies’ jammers from getting into a scoring rhythm. When Mouse called off the final jam for the Reservoir Dolls, her team was victorious, 198-130. The Reservoir Dolls won their third straight championship trophy.

Sproutin’ a Tail led all scoring with 72 points.

Special note: Other retiring skaters include Twisted Halo with the Unholy Rollers (skater since 2009), and Zooey Dashinhell with the Vaudeville Vixens (skater since 2014).

(Season Stats)

– Peter Rabid

Upcoming Summer Interleague Bouts

May 30

Team Unicorn vs Keweenaw Roller Girls (

at Houghton County Arena, Hancock, MI

June 13

Team Unicorn vs Dubuque Bomb Squad (

at Courtside Sports Bar & Grill, Dubuque, IA

June 20

Dairyland Dolls (A) vs. Milwaukee Blitzkrieg

Dairyland Dolls (B) vs. Windy City Second Wind

at Hartmeyer Ice Arena, Madison, WI

June 27

Dairyland Dolls exposition bout

At Shake the Lake, Monona Terrace, Madison, WI

July 11

Dairyland Dolls (B) vs. Minnesota Rollergirls (B)

Team Unicorn vs Quad City Mississippi Massacre (

at Hartmeyer Ice Arena, Madison, WI

July 18

Team Unicorn vs Aurora 88s (

at Aurora Skate Center, Aurora, IL